People who say “I could never go vegan” while eating chicken nuggets

“I Could Never Go Vegan”–Said the Person Eating Mechanically Separated Dreams

Because Ethics Are Harder Than Nuggets

Every meat-lover knows one thing for sure: vegans are scary. So when someone says “I could never go vegan,” they say it proudly–while dipping a nugget made of mystery meat into sauce with the nutritional value of regret.

Funny Evidence from the Nugget Defense League

One man said, “I respect vegans, but bacon tho,” while microwaving a bag of dino-shaped chicken chunks he couldn’t identify with a microscope.

Quote from a Deep-Fried Philosopher

“I need meat for protein,” said Carla Crunchwrap, between bites of something labeled “chicken-inspired formulation.”

Satirical Snapshot

These are the same folks who fear tofu but trust pink slime from a drive-thru. They say vegan food is “weird,” while eating something shaped like Spongebob’s left foot.

Conclusion: Meat Isn’t Bad, But Maybe Don’t Throw Stones from a Nugget House

Eat what you want–but maybe skip the smugness until your next meal contains fewer adjectives and more ingredients found in nature.

For more plant-based pettiness, chew on satire at bohiney.com